- Author
- A.N. Other and NHSA Webmaster
- Subjects
- WWII operations
- Tags
- None noted.
- RAN Ships
- None noted.
- Publication
- March 2009 edition of the Naval Historical Review (all rights reserved)
This story is without attribution. Its origins are unknown. The only clues we have are the date, ‘1940’, in the date/time/groups, and the distinctively British way they are written. As to its veracity, well, stranger exchanges have taken place, I’m sure. Editor
From Patrol Officer River D, To Senior Officer Auxiliary Patrols. It is reported that a magnetic mine has been dropped in the D River estuary. Request instructions? (1000/20/10/40) From Senior Officer Auxiliary Patrols, To the Resident Naval Officer, R A magnetic mine has been reported in estuary. Shall I deal with the matter or will you? (1100/20/10/40)
From RNOF To SOAP Your 1000/20/10/40, Request you will take necessary actions (1200/20/10/40)
From SOAP To PORD Your 1000/10/20/40. All traffic on river to cease forthwith. A/P launches to maintain continuous patrol to ensure this. Inform local Police immediately. Searching enquiries to verify this report to be commenced immediately. (1300/20/10/40)
From PORD To SOAP Exhaustive enquiries show alleged magnetic mine to be some form of buoy, cylindrical in shape, about 6 feet long and 2 feet in diameter. Object is apparently harmless, so am withdrawing patrol and resuming traffic. Police informed. (1630/22/10/40)
From SOAP To RNOF PORD’s 1630/22/10/40 is passed to you for information and such action as you may consider necessary. (1800/22/10/40)
From RNOF To Boom Defence Officer, H Have you any boom defences on River D, please? (0900/23/10/40)
From BDOH To RNOF The answer is in the negative. (0945/23/10/40)
From RNOF To BAOF A net buoy, apparently boom defence type, has been found in River D. Will you please investigate? (1130/23 10/40)
From BOAF To RNOF Your 1130/23/10/40. At considerable inconvenience to this Depot on account of shortage of Staff, and at some expense to the Crown for hire of taxi, an Officer has been sent to inspect the so called net buoy. It appears to be an ordinary 100 gallon barrel. (1600/24/10/40)
From RNOF To BDOH Your 1600/24/10/40. Request I may be informed if this barrel belongs to you? (1800/24/10/40)
From BDOF To RNOF Your 1600/24/10/40. The answer is probably in the affirmative. (0900/25/10/40.)
From RNOF To BDOH Your 0900/25/10/40, Request I may be informed what steps you propose taking to avoid repetition of similar regrettable incident, observing that unnecessary trouble and anxiety has been caused to Naval, Military and Civil Authorities, and a most disturbing effect produced among the local civilian population. (1030/25/10/40)
From BDOH To RNOF Your 1030/25/10/40. It would not appear that this depot is responsible for the lamenting ignorance of other persons and their astonishing inability to distinguish the difference between a 100 gallon barrel and a magnetic mine. (0800/26/10/40)
From RNOF To BDOH Grave exception is taken to the tone of your 0800/26/10/40, nor is it considered an appropriate answer to my 1030/25/10/40. A further reply is requested. (1030/26/10/40.)
From BDOH To RNOF It is regretted that your 1030/26/10/40 is not understood, observing that the facts appear to be as stated in my 0800/26/10/40. (1400/26/10/40)
From RNOF To BDOH Request an immediate and proper reply to my 1030/25/10/40. (0815/27/10/40)
From BDOH To RNOF Your 0815/27/10/40. When used by this Depot these 100 gallon barrels are moored strictly in accordance with the instructions issued by the Boom Defence. Admiralty DBO and his Staff comprise some of the keenest brains in the Naval Service, but like King Canute they cannot control the elements. The breaking adrift of this barrel must therefore be looked upon as an ‘Act of God’. (1115/27/10/40)
From RNOF To BDOH Your 1115/27/10/40 is considered to show a spirit of unseemly levity. I am interested in neither King Canute nor in Acts of God, but solely in how to prevent your 100 gallon barrels from breaking adrift. Request concrete proposals for achieving this end may be forwarded here forthwith (1430/27/10/40)
From BDOH, To RNOF Your 1430/27/10/40. Regret concrete not considered suitable. Suggest unscrewing plug instead. (0859/28/10/40)
From RNOF To BDOH Your 0859/28/10/40. You do not appear to appreciate the importance of this matter and in view of your obvious unwillingness to co-operate I am submitting copies of all these signals to FOIN for such action as he may consider necessary. (1035/28/10/40)
From BDOH To RNOF Your 1035/28/10/40. Same to you with knobs on. Co-operation with some people is impossible. In self-protection I am submitting copies of all these signals to DBD Admiralty. (1111/28/10/40.)